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[Theme music starts, fades out.]
Liz: You're listening to Ouija Broads, this is Liz.
Devon: This is Devon, and today, I--
Liz: What do you have for me?
Devon: What do I have?
Liz: Ha! I talked all over you.
Devon: [laughs] Girlfriend, you can do whatever you want all over me.
Liz: [blows raspberry, laughs]
Devon: Boom! My husband's at work. I'm just--
Liz: This is going to be unlike those podcasts where they're by a married couple and then they get divorced and it's depressing. This is just going to chart our slow merge.
Devon: Oh, it's... You guys, Liz and I have already decided that when our husbands predecease us -- tragically and we're not planning for it, but it's going to happen-- we're going to get married on the moon? Is that right?
Liz: Yeah.
Devon: Yeah.
Liz: In 2101, there will be a colony on the moon.
Devon: [crosstalk] There you go. [singing] In the year 2101 / Liz and Devon will be on the moon, having fun.
Devon: That's all I got. I wanted to keep going.
Liz: Wow!
Devon: That was good though, right?
Liz: That was really good!
Devon: Thanks. Hey, thanks. I've never done karaoke before, so we can consider that my first karaoke foray.
Liz: I'll do karaoke on the moon with you.
Devon: Yeah, you will. I love it. You're the best. You're the best.
Liz: [crosstalk] Tell me-- tell me about some weird shit, yeah!
Devon: [crosstalk] I have a story-- I have a story for you that doesn't take place on the moon.
Devon: It takes place on or in a natural area that's actually just as precious and interesting as the moon, maybe even more interesting than the moon, because we can go to it. Space X is not that far along yet. So this is a place we can go to it. If you are in Spokane, you live on or near the Palouse.
Devon: The Palouse prairie is a habitat that's in Spokane, and then it stretches east into Idaho, a little bit. Technical Palouse prairie area is this... It's native grasses, but now it's almost all farmland. There's only one percent of the native prairie remaining. So the Palouse prairie is recognized as one of the most endangered ecosystems in the United States, actually.
Liz: Oh! It's really beautiful.
Devon: It's gorgeous, isn't it? If you ever get a chance to head out down toward WSU, down toward Pullman, you'll see some of the last actual Palouse prairie. Those native grasses are really cool. The fact that they're there means that a whole bunch of other plants and animals can thrive in their area. They do all kinds of good stuff with their roots and they aid with water retention and they're food for certain butterflies and other bugs and animals. Plus, prairie is just really cool, dude. Really, really cool.
Devon: It was hard for the Palouse to be... To have special things? It was it was hard for the Palouse prairie to have endemic species, there weren't a lot of plants that were restricted to that specific area because the Palouse doesn't really have environmental distinctions that make it special.
Liz: Mm hmm.
Devon: So it just had a lot of really cool things going on. I'm going to tell you a couple of plants that are endemic to the Palouse. So the Palouse prairie itself has some flora and fauna that are really special and live there and thrive, maybe only there, like the Pullman aster, there's a Palouse thistle... There's a couple of different kinds of milk vetch that are only found there. They're not particularly fussy plants, like milk vetches can thrive in a lot of different places, but they're still only found in this one little ecosystem, which I think is really cool. A lot of the topography in the Palouse, if you've ever been there, obviously it's open. It's just, I mean, it's just hills, dude, right? It's just open plain prairie area.
Liz: Yeah.
Devon: And there aren't really any unusual soil chemicals that are happening, but it's still its own special ecosystem. And one of the animals that this special ecosystem that supports is, is a special worm. It's a special type of worm, Liz.
Liz: I didn't know worms could be special, but that's very shortsighted of me.
Devon: It's so shortsighted of you. God damn, man, how did you not recognize this one's actually really special? You'll like it because the Palouse prairie is special for those plants that are endemic just to that area, right? But one of the other things that special for is that it is home to one of the few native worms in North America. And this worm was discovered in 1897 by a naturalist named Frank Smith, and it was discovered near Pullman, Washington. Everything that I can research says it was considered to be common at the time in the area, but there wasn't-- it was so common., there wasn't any kind of formal survey or anything taken on it.
Liz: [disappointed] Oh.
Devon: So we don't know what the original numbers were. But as recently as 2008, it was considered extinct.
Liz: [distressed] Little worm!
Devon: Little worm! Little buddy! But what's cool about that-- so a cryptid I've told you before is an animal-- it can be an animal that we think that science assumes is extinct, but there are non-verified sightings or reports of it. So there are enough people that think perhaps there's an existent population still kicking around.
Liz: Like the coelacanth.
Devon: Like the coelacanth, right. The giant Palouse earthworm was a cryptid up until summer of 2009 when there was a project launched by some, um... Well, by a student, by a group of students and their professor. In... Where were they? They were at the University of Idaho, not WSU.
Liz: Okay!
Devon: There was a professor and a group of students at the University of Idaho who started this project to find giant Palouse earthworms. They had enough circumstantial and story evidence from farmers who were saying, you know, "I think I've seen one in the last 10 years, I think I came across one tilling a field." So they started this project, they got some funding from the Department of Fish and Wildlife and some conservation center grants, and they started doing a survey to see if they could find giant Palouse earthworms.
Liz: Well, God bless 'em for not just writing it off.
Devon: Isn't that amazing? So-- and they did!
Liz: And good job, professor, too, because this is the kind of project that you can see a student wanting to do--
Devon: Yeah!
Liz: --and nobody wanting to put their reputation as a scientist into it.
Devon: --on the line--
Liz: But good for you, professor, and good for you, students.
Devon: This was Professor Jodi Johnson-Maynard and then specifically Jodi's student-- I'm sorry, student. I'm going to butcher your name, but I think you are Yaniria Sánchez-de León. They started this project in the summer of 2009. And in March 2010, they had discovered and recovered two specimens, an adult and a juvenile. How cool is that?
Liz: Let's put these guys on the whole Bigfoot thing!
Devon: Let's put them on the Bigfoot thing. These worms are hard to find, man. They can burrow up to 15 feet in the ground.
Liz: They're way littler than a Bigfoot.
Devon: They're way littler than a Bigfoot, but they're called giant Palouse earthworm for a reason. Do you want to know why?
Liz: Yeah.
Devon: They can get up to a meter long, three point three feet in length.
Liz: [excited gasp]
Devon: Well, it's believed to grow up to about a yard long. Modern specimens have only been observed up to about one and a half feet in length. So...
Liz: That's still a bananas size for an earthworm!
Devon: Think about that! Think about finding a worm that probably goes from your fingertips to your elbow and think about how gross--
Liz: Uh, no worm would ever be close to my fingertips or elbow to find that out.
Devon: [laughing] Yes, it would! My, um... My kindergarten walk from kindergarten to daycare, I always took with my best buddy at the time, Amy Marshall, and Amy and I, on rainy days, used to save worms. We would find worms that were in puddles and we thought they were drowning. So we'd pick them up out of puddles and put them on the grass.
Liz: Aww.
Devon: So I've been near many a worm, my friend. So I would definitely go check out giant Palouse earthworms. They're huge, right? And they have this ability to survive summer droughts by conserving water. And they can serve it in a--
Liz: Oh!
Devon: It's an invertebrate organ that occurs in pairs, kind of like our kidneys. It's called a nephridia [pronounced to rhyme with "idea"] or a nephridia [pronounced to rhyme with papaya]-- who knows if I'm pronouncing that right, but it's a special organ that conserves water. So between that and being able to burrow 15 feet in the earth, you could see how they'd be overlooked.
Liz: Mmhmm. But that's that's a really important skill for eastern Washington, where you're not going to get a lot of rain in the summer.
Devon: We get so dry, dude! Its Latin name. I should have you say, because I don't speak Latin, but I'm going to try. It's a Driloleirus americanus-- that one I can do-- Driololeirus? But it means lily-like worm, because when the first people discovered it, you know, at the turn of the century, they said it gave off a flowery fragrance similar to lilies when it was handled.
Liz: Ooh.
Devon: They also said that it could spit as a defense mechanism. The specimens found in 2010 did not exhibit either of those qualities, thank God.
Liz: Oh, they didn't have the smell? I can believe the spit thing was just something, but I assumed they wouldn't make up the smell
Devon: Yeah, right? Sounds right that they would, "All right, fine, whatever, you smell kind of like lilies smell, kind of like rotting meat. And you are--"
Liz: I don't like it, the smell of lilies.
Devon: I know. I don't...
Liz: It makes me think of funerals.
Devon: Very, very funerary. Well, you'll be happy to know that maybe giant Palouse earthworms don't actually smell like flowers that you don't like.
Liz: So now they're just cruising around being called lily-like worms and they have nothing lily-like about them. That's a hard word to say!
Devon: Lily-like worm. Lily-like? Lily-like, lily-like, lily-like-- I'm doing it. Maybe I'm just showing off.
Liz: [laughs]
Devon: I'm showing off, because I found out I can do that Xena cry.
Liz: Oh, do it now.
Devon: I feel a little weird doing it into this microphone. [fading] So we'll pull the microphone away.
Devon: [in distance, ululation ala Xena, Warrior Princess]
Liz: Really good! [laughing]
Devon: Really good, right? So there you go. I can-- I can say lily-like and I can Xena-yell.
Liz: Why did you develop this talent in 2017?
Devon: I was-- I was driving in my car and didn't want to turn on the radio.
Liz: [laughing] Okay!
Devon: [laughing] But it was a thing that I wanted to know if I could do. Did you know that I lost out on a role in high school? Um, do you remember when we were auditioning for Clue? Did you audition for that?
Liz: I didn't, I think I had peaced out at that point. I was sick of playing moms.
Devon: You did 'Night, Mother.
Liz: Yeah, I did.
Devon: Cuz it was the One-Acts and you did 'Night, Mother. So I lost out on the Mrs. Pea... uh, yeah, Mrs. Peacock role because I was too embarrassed to scream on stage during the audition.
Liz: Oh.
Devon: I would have screamed in the actual play, but I didn't want to do it in the audition. So I practiced screaming in my car so that I'm more comfortable making loud noises.
Liz: So if that ever comes up again, well, I can relate to that because... Did you hear the story on My Favorite Murder about--
Devon: [negative] Huh-uh.
Liz: I'll have to cut all of this, I'm just talking to you at this point.
Devon: No, it's good. I like it.
Liz: But it was, like, a girl who was in like a mountain cabin by herself and then realized somebody was there and she steps out into the hallway and just starts making the weirdest noises she can fucking think of. And the guy just panics and runs away.
Devon: You fucking serious?
Liz: Yeah.
Devon: Oh, my God. That is what I've always thought I would do if someone was in my house. I would start talking to, like, ghosts or demons or, you know, I, I would act really erratic and hope that it freaked them out enough that they would leave.
Liz: I feel like it'd be worth a shot if people were like, high on something and just trying to steal.
Devon: Yeah, man. If nothing else, I'm going to go out the way I lived: really obnoxious.
Liz: Live weird, die weird.
Devon: [laughing] Live weird, die weird! Maybe that should be our new tagline. Live weird, die weird. I like that. I like it.
Liz: What the hell were we talking about?
Devon: [crosstalk, unintelligible]
Liz: Lily-like worms!
Devon: Lily-like worms! So they found these two specimens, an adult and a juvenile. And then in 2012, two more specimens were found near Paradise Ridge, which is south of Moscow, Idaho. So a little bit further away than Pullman. And they were... All of these specimens have been transferred to University of Idaho, where they're doing research on these worms to figure out why there aren't as many left. You know, one of the theories is that it's all of the, of course, you know, agriculture that happens.
Devon: It could be that maybe they-- there is something really special about the Palouse prairie that the worms need in order to thrive. And because we've only got one percent of Palouse prairie left, you figure you're only going to have one percent of the worm population left. Something that I was really frustrated by is that the species was considered probably extinct in 2008, right?
Liz: Mm hmm.
Devon: But once they figured out that there are still a couple of worms in existence, the World Conservation Union will only list them as vulnerable, which is a step up from endangered.
Liz: There's [sic] not endangered even though they thought they were extinct and now they just know where four of them are?
Devon: You see my confusion. You see why I'm really upset about this. In August, 2006, conservationists actually petitioned the US government to list the worm under the Endangered Species Act because they had only found four of them since-- uh, or no, sorry, shit! 2006 is two years before they really thought it was endangered--
Liz: Prescient!
Devon: --so they were definitely trying. Yeah, exactly. They're trying really hard. But in 2007, US Fish and Wildlife Service declined to list them as protected under the ESA because they said that there was a lack of scientific information on which to base the decision. [laughing] I mean, there is a lack of fucking worms, apparently.
Liz: Okay---
Devon: [laughing] That's your "lack of information."
Liz: [laughing] Get your-- get your microphone back, because-- because first of all, you said "protectered."
Devon: [laughing]
Liz: And second of all, this is all happening in 2006 and 2007 before they find the worms? Or this is happening... When?
Devon: Sorry...
Liz: What kind of time-traveling-ass lily worms are we dealing with here?
Devon: We're dealing with crazy ass worms. In 2006, conservationists hadn't seen a giant Palouse earthworm in a really fucking long time.
Liz: Okay.
Devon: So they petitioned the government to list it as endangered under the Endangered Species Act.
Liz: Got it
Devon: In 2007, that's when Fish and Wildlife Services declined to list them under the Endangered Species Act because there was a lack of evidence, which I'm like, dude, there's a lack of worms. That's your lack of evidence. What the fuck?
Liz: Do they think - is this some kind of scam I don't know about, to list non-existent animals as endangered?
Devon: I don't know!
Liz: That's a long grift.
Devon: --what you get from this. Jee-sus. Well, it was like a thylacine, right, was listed as endangered, I think, 84 days after the last wild one had been killed.
Liz: Oh, no.
Devon: So they still had poor Benjamin in captivity, but there... it's ass-backward.
Liz: [sighs]
Devon: So, y'know, 2008 or so people were like, "Yeah, we're pretty sure this thing is extinct, so... Fuck." And then in 2009, our good buddy Jodi Johnson-Maynard and her students at U of I were like, no, we're going to do this project and we're going to find us some worms. We think they're still out there and they found four. So shit, yeah! Good job. Oregon is in a similar place. Oregon has a thing called a giant, the Oregon giant earthworm. And it's also very uncommon. They are listed as endangered. It was also last sighted in 2008. And for whatever reason, they've got better people petitioning Fish and Wildlife or ESA... but it's listed as endangered. Poor little buddy.
Liz: Poor buddy. There have been thylacine sightings again recently...
Devon: There have been! I'm so-- I think I would like you to allow me to do a whole thylacine episode and I will geek out for two hours about them. I'm really getting stoked by the number of sightings that are being seen. I saw a video pretty recently that looks... It's got that kind of, uh, signature hop going on in its movement, which got me really excited. But I'm talking about earthworms, and I haven't even told you about the biggest earthworm in the world.
Liz: [excited gasp]
Devon: It's also in Australia, so that was a really good tie in that you did. It doesn't live here. The Oregon giant earthworm and the giant Palouse earthworm both max out at probably a yard long, a meter long.
Liz: And do they look like just worms but big?
Devon: Yeah, yeah. So they look like worms, but big. There's not even a whole lot going on, girth-wise that would make you think like, "Oh fuck, it's a snake." They're still really skinny. They have a pretty grody-looking worm head. They've got the segmented bodies. If, if you looked at one, you probably wouldn't think it was any different from a normal earthworm. I read online that they're supposed to be albino in appearance, so they're quite a bit paler than the pinky-grey earthworms we're used to.
Liz: Hmm.
Devon: But the photo that I saw, I, I didn't think it was that pale. You know, it didn't look like a cave creature. It didn't look albino to me.
Liz: Oh. So that could also really have something to do with it as well, that if you're on a tractor--
Devon: No wonder!
Liz: You run over one of these, you're not really going to notice.
Devon: Oh, yeah, you're not going to notice if it's small. You know, if you run over a three foot worm, then you're going to go, well, fuck, I bet I know what that was. But yeah, if you run over something that's six inches long, you're probably going to be like, yep. Made two worms.
Liz: Yeah, exactly. Or if you ran over a three foot long worm and you saw one and a half feet of worm, you'd be like, "Yeah... Kinda big worm."
Devon: "Yeah. This is pretty large. I think I'll just leave him there. He's doing good stuff. Aerating."
Liz: Yeah.
Devon: But still, still they're not the biggest, Liz. The biggest worm in the world is the giant Gippsland earthworm or the giant Gippsland earthworm. They can get up to nine point eight feet in length.
Liz: What?!
Devon: Nine point eight feet in length and their bodies are able to expand and contract so they can appear much larger than nine point eight feet. They're growers and showers, Liz.
Liz: That's too big for a worm.
Devon: That's so not too big for a worm.
Liz: I'm calling it. I disapprove.
Devon: [laughing] It can be 10 feet long and it still weighs less than half a pound.
Liz: [unhappy] Mm. Just think of all the places it could get to. It could get under doors.
Devon: It could get under your bed.
Liz: It could get in your air vent.
Devon: It could get in your air vent. They could climb up your toilet tank? The pipes?
Liz: Mmhmm.
Devon: Like snakes?
Liz: That's a bad news worm.
Devon: That's a bad news worm. Thank God we don't live in Australia.
Liz: Mm-hmm.
Devon: But if you ever see a ten foot dark, purple-headed, blue-grey bodied, three hundred to four hundred body segmented worm and you're in Australia, you've probably just seen the giant Gippsland's Earth one.
Liz: Is it fast?
Devon: [long pause, then laughter away from the microphone]
Liz: I need to know! How long do I have if I see one of these things?
Devon: You got about 10 feet, dude. [trying to talk through laughter] "Is it fast?" I can't answer your question. I don't know, and I'm not clever enough to come up with something mocking you for the weirdest question I never expected. I bet they're pretty speedy, don't you think?
Liz: Oh... yeah.
Devon: I bet they're pretty speedy. I bet they inchworm along.
Liz: [unhappy sound]
Devon: Liz, I bet they're really slow. I bet they're so slow and that they, they never live under your bed. I think that they're just out in the Outback. And about four o'clock in the day, they have some koala-ty time--
Liz: [laughing]
Devon: --with their koala friends.
Liz: Oh, God, that's why I don't rescue worms when I see them, because I hate when you pick them up and they're like, flippity flip flip flip flip!
Devon: I love it! I love it, no, it's like a puzzle! It's like, where do I touch you so that you're going to move. But I don't crush you, but that I also don't drop you and you can feel their muscle.
Liz: Oh, that's the worst. What if you picked up a Giant Palouse Earthworm and it was like flippity flip flip and it just slapped you in the face like a water noodle. Yeah.
Devon: It'd be like getting in the face with a wet sock. Sounds awful.
Liz: That would feel so bad.
Devon: Yeah, sorry, that does sound pretty gross, but I think if they're threatened, you actually probably can't pick them up. I don't think that you can-- I don't think it's legal to do-- to, to disturb a threatened or endangered species, you know.
Liz: Oh, good point.
Devon: So you don't have to worry about that. If you see one, I want you to take a picture of it. Put something-- obviously not yourself, but something in there so that they can get a good idea of scale.
Liz: Yeah.
Devon: Throw...Throw a ruler down and then back away. And take a picture and then you're going to be helping out our buddies at U of I.
Liz: When you say "specimens" at U of I, are they alive or dead ones?
Devon: Good question, that I don't know the answer to. I would hope that they're alive, but I don't... I don't know.
Liz: That would be tough.
Devon: Do they just make them a big terrarium?
Liz: Yeah.
Devon: You know?
Liz: Scoot around real slow.
Devon: Just really slow. Shoot, dude, they're the slowest worms in existence.
Liz: That's their problem.
Devon: I'm trying to make you feel better, I don't know if they're slow or not.
Liz: If you could be the one to encounter any cryptid or mythological creature, which one would you want to encounter?
Devon: Thylacine.
Liz: Thylacine?
Devon: Thylacine. Yeah, I think they exist. I love them. I think they're beautiful. I think that their extinction is one hundred percent our fault. And for whatever reason I feel a lot of guilt about that. So I would either be a thylacine or it would be... hmm...
Liz: Cuz their mouths are real big!
Devon: Their mouths are real big, their mouths are real big. Did you know that thylacines, their pouches go backward? You know, like a kangaroo, the pouch comes up towards its neck--
Liz: What?
Devon: Their pouches go down toward their tails. Males have a pouch as well. And when they're running through, y'know, long grass, they can tuck their genitals in their pouch so that it doesn't get scraped in all the brambles and shit.
Liz: I don't know if that's the weirdest thing I've ever heard or it's weird that we can't all do that.
Devon: [laughing]
Liz: No, why do the males have pouches? Do male kangaroos have pouches?
Devon: I don't know if male kangaroos have pouches or not. I bet they do. That's a great question. I don't know, we're really outside our wheelhouse here, but I think that it's so that they can tuck their genitals in.
Liz: I don't have a competing explanation, so that'll just stand as the theory.
Devon: If you let me do a thylacine episode, I'll research that for you. You know, once, once a year on your birthday, you get to talk about whatever mystery you want.
Liz: I like it. You got other worm stuff to tell me about?
Devon: No, I don't have other worm stuff to tell you about. Just that the Giant Palouse Earthworm and his friend, the Oregon Giant Earthworm, are anywhere up to 15 feet beneath you... you hope.
Liz: It's making the world a slightly weirder place.
Devon: Yeah, right. Right?
Liz: Yeah.
Devon: So, yeah, I'm glad that we can consider our little earthworm buddies. I think that they're part of what makes us weird and wonderful. And they're just out there aerating the Palouse and the prairies and the farmlands and the meadows, they're just out there making their little tunnels, dude, and having a good time.
Liz: I'm excited that it was a cryptid and then it got verified.
Devon: I'm excited about that, too. I really like seeing animals that, you know, we think are extinct. And then there's a couple of people that actually live in that environment and go, "Ah, hell no, dude, we see this all the time."
Liz: Yeah!
Devon: "All the time. I promise he's still alive." And then we get to go, "Oh, we haven't totally fucked the ecosystem yet! Oh, awesome. We found... We found you. Good job." The uh, what was it... The last, I think it was the last two Carolina parakeets in existence were shot on the same day by different hunters.
Liz: Mmhmm.
Devon: Oh man.
Liz: "Come look, everybody!" Yeah. Those are pathetic. They were real cute.
Devon: Yeah, I bet they were. I bet they tasted real good.
Liz: Oh, man, yeah, so do you know why they were able to kill so many Carolina parakeets? Because if you shot one, the others would all come over and look at it.
Devon: Are you serious?
Liz: Mm hmm.
Liz: So you could catch them to be pets or whatever if you just sort of fired blindly into a flock.
Devon: That's so depressing. That's so depressing. What was the-- there was a type of... Was it Steller's sea cow? Or somebody's dugong? Or whatever over near Greenland where when the explorers got there, they're just like these things are so sweet and curious and unafraid and goddamn, they taste good and oh shit, we ate them all.
Liz: I think that was the sea cow because I think in that family there's two kinds of manatees and then there's dugongs. And then there's the extinct Steller sea cow, which were the biggest ones.
Devon: Okay. there's a Steller's Sea Ape up near Alaska and it's a... aquatic-style Sasquatch. But if you ever want to range further north, I can tell you about this aquatic ape. It's the only animal that Steller ever talked about that was never verified by anybody else.
Liz: Oh, yeah, we got to do that. That sounds amazing. Alaska's in our territory, too, for sure.
Devon: Called it. We've adopted you, Alaska. You are just as weird as the rest of us, if not more so.
Liz: Oh, yeah.
Devon: Yeah. That's all I have to talk about in terms of worms. That's it for this episode of Ouija Broads. We would absolutely appreciate it if you would rate, review, and subscribe to us on iTunes. That really helps us out because that means other people will find us. If you rate, review, and subscribe to us, well, you're boosting our numbers. You can do the same thing, though, if you check us out on social media.
Devon: We're on Twitter, we're on Instagram, we're on Facebook. The social media channels are really fun for us because that's where we do updates. Or if we see things in real time that are Ouija Broads related, we can share them with you and get your feedback on. This has been a really good episode, Liz asked me in my sign-off if I would tell you all that I love you...
Liz: Awkwardly. I said awkwardly.
Devon: She said awkwardly, so--
Liz: [laughing]
Devon: I'm not I'm not really sure I can make it awkward because it is genuine.
Liz: This has been so fun. I think this is going to be our 10th episode. If I'm counting it right?
Devon: This is gonna be? I'm going to tell you all then for our 10th episode, we've got a pretty cool promotion that we're going to run as a thank you for joining us for 10 episodes.
Liz: What?
Devon: So if now that you've heard this episode, now that you've listened, you should stay tuned on social media for those promotions.
Liz: What are we doing?
Devon: We're going to do giveaways. I'm making crafts and we might do buttons and all kinds of stuff. I guess I needed to run this by you first.
Liz: No, I'm into it, I was just like, we already give the podcast away for free!
Devon: Give the podcast away for free is right. [laughing] Ah, shit. Am I supposed to awkwardly tell them I love them?
Liz: Yeah, try it.
Devon: [in a weird sultry voice] Mmm, Liz, I don't know that I can do anything awkward when I feel this kind of actual real deep love for out listeners.
Liz: Well, now I'm uncomfortable.
Devon: I love them so much. [normal voice] That wasn't awkward.
Liz: That was weird that... It was on brand. And then you-- and then you say, thank you for listening. [starting to laugh]
Devon: [through gritted teeth] Don't tell me how to do this, woman! I know it.
Liz: Hey, I'm the one who has to make an end of these.
Devon: Yeah, you're right. You're right. You've been listening to Ouija Broads. Live weird, die weird, stay weird, and thank you for listening.
Liz: Thank you.
Devon: [laughing]
Liz: Yay, that was fun.
Devon: Your "Thank you" was just so, like, "Goddammit, I let the child do the voicemail greeting and I have to show them that there's an adult in there."
Liz: [laughing]
Devon: So thank you... I love it.
Liz: I hope somewhere in here, we've got something…
[Theme music fades in, ends.]